There are few persons here I would like to apologize to ;
First of all, to my dearest parents. As a daughter, I knew that in your eyes, I’m your hope, your life, your soul, and your precious gift from Above. Yet, I had disappointed you in many ways. For I couldn’t be the daughter you always wish I can turn out to be because this is me and that’s not me. Still, you both always loved me. No matter what I say or do, I’ll always love you both too because I’m your flesh and your blood running through within me.
Secondly, to my lovely cousins. I’m so so so so so SORRY to let you down.
Last but not least, to my girlfriend Pek Teng. I feel guilty toward her the most! She put all her preparation time for test, assignments, and homework aside to tutor me from A-Z. As a student/ friend, I feel LOUSY, USELESS and MISERABLE! I disappointed her again and again.
I had made up my mind. My parents and cousins will not find out about this because I don’t have the heart to let them down. Thus, for the coming semester, I’ll fork out my fees by myself. Be it money from my pay from the part-time job I’m about to find or.....I don’t know~ I’ll find my way. All I wanna say is I’m really sorry from the bottom of my heart.
On the other hand, I’m pondering about switching courses. Yes. I know well nuff’ that I’ll be wasting my time and money. Hey! Maybe I’m on the wrong track all along? This course never stated on my career list. Even if it does, it will definitely without a doubt be my last option. Ever since I was a kid, all the way back to kindergarten era, I made numbers my no.1 enemy and I always feel connected with words and languages! I knew exactly where my interest and passion lies on but my family is the barrier. Please do not tell me something like, “You should fight for it!" I tried everything that you can possibly think of people! Things don’t always go our way. The journey of life doesn’t guarantee us with smooth ride all the time. We’ll come to the bumpy ride now and then. Although I always look at the glass half full (positive thinking), there will be times when I look at the glass half empty (negative thinking) instead. Right now, the feelings of sadness and frustration are over the top. ~ Why when I need all of you the most, I can't reach out to you?~
Xtine*
nvm...no matter wat decision u make,i'll owez support u...if u wanna continue i'll stil very willing 2 b ur tutor,serious,i wont blame u or wat...coz i reli can c u put effort on it dis time...the decision is on ur side,but i hope u wont switch la,coz math is require by all courses,i mean the basic 1...i knw mayb u'll feel fed up n disappointed v it...sry 4 dis afternoon,i reli duno u msg me,i dun even eat my lunch coz of dat,swt,sry chris...lengye n i wil owez bside u n support u!sry
ReplyDeleteall i can say is babe, don't ever think that you are at fault because you have given it your 100%. don't look down on yourself or feel bad because a small failure like this does not mean that you are a failure in other things, for you are not.
ReplyDeleteyou know what i went through when i wanted to change my course, think it through before making any decisions k? you know you will always have me as your partner in crime in everything that you do =)
last but not least, cheer up babe! love ya!