~ Turning away ~

I had been questioning myself recently. I had been pondering about this over again and again yet I couldn't find the answer. The question is, " How you consider a person as your true friend? " I know I got a lot of friends. In fact, more till I actually lose count but how many from the list stated FRIENDS that you know you can count on to during the time of emergency or sorrow? There is something I noticed recently, if you're about to throw a huge party over the weekend, I'm pretty sure almost everyone from that list will be attending but if you're facing difficulties or upset about life and you really need someone to be there, you hardly find one. I'm sorry if I do upset anyone of you here while you're reading this but I can't help it. I may be a person that don't really open up much , I may be strong from inside out but somehow I'm still a human with feelings, and I may be telling you if you ever need anyone to talk to, to help you or depend on, I'm there for you because I'm expecting you to be doing the same thing back to me someday. Each time, whenever friends needed help, be it emergency, be it a talk things out session, I always try my best to be there. I'm not here to brag how great a friend I am but to express the loneliness I felt and the aura that pull me aside to the dark corner.


Not only that, it is like whenever they had their problems and all, they will come to me. Whenever there is nothing wrong in their life, I feel like I'm lock in the closet. I know I'm not perfect and so do the rest. There are times when I needed someone to be there, times when I needed help, and times when I'm so desperate till I keep coming to an end, I can't find even one. In one of the incident when I needed help the most [ FYI, I did mentioned this in blog previously ],I was scrolling down my contact list to call. There are so many numbers but in the midst of urgency, I can't even find one to call. In the end, it was my own family member that came for rescue. For those that doubt about my story, I can assure you at the point of time, I was with one of my bestie, Elaine. The same thing occurred to her. No one in her contact list that she think she can count on during that time. I was very very disappointed. I tried calling few of my friends that I think I can count on. Unfortunately, none of them picked up the call. This is not what I am upset about. It is about their ignorance of not even bother to call or text after the missed call.


Dear readers, how you consider a person as a friend? OK OK! Screw the word TRUE that I first stated. How about you consider a person as a friend? Do you think friend do exist? It is not like I don't have best friends and all, I do but I just can't help it. I'm pretty sure they won't be there for me 24/7 and I'm not there for them completely 24/7 too but how many times in your life that you will be in the midst of emergency and sorrow? If you're having this kind of life all the time, no doubt you're pathetic and people will be turning away from you. What I'm trying to say here is that, when you're sharing your happiness, everyone will be there. When you want to share your sadness, it is hard to turn to someone. When others not having a good time, they turn to you and you give it all out but when it is your turn of not having a good time, you blurt it all out and after your "miserable talk", they continue with their story ( whether it is good or bad ) as though you never open up your mouth at all. Dear readers, ever come to this stage of turning away from it? I'm sure you do...